Blue

Classes are over and I'm disappointed because I wanted to attend college in the morning and it didn't work for me for the secon time. It's time for me to stop trying to wake up early to go to school, it isn't for me, I'm happier at noon I guess.

Días raros

Parece que todo lo que he planeado hacer o he querido hacer simplemente no está dando resultado. El tratar de ser mejor a veces no es suficiente, hay veces que tienes que hacerlo y ya, sin pensarlo, como si fuera un reflejo del cuerpo y de la mente.

No he estado tan bien en la escuela, llevo pocas materias y sé que por eso me desanimo, no creo que sea muy motivante cursar 27 de 43 créditos. 

Por otro lado yo sé que debería de aprovechar mejor mi tiempo y por más que lo intento (por mi cuenta) nada más no lo logro así que desde ahora he decidido a ponerme en orden con una buena rutina. Dicen que para que una activvidad se haga un hábito es necesario llevarla a cabo 21 días sin descanso alguno. Así que de ahora en adelante me comprometo a ejercitarme todos los días durante mínimo 30 minutos, además de beber mínimo 2lt de agua, también todos los días, y no beber bajo ninguna circunstancia ningún tipo de refresco ni ningún tipo de jugo o bebida embotellada.

Sé que debo seguir aunque no vea los resultados tan rápidamente, a fin de cuentas, lo único que quiero es sentirme bien porque ¿Cuántas veces se han visto al espejo y se han sentido mal con el reflejo?, ¿Cuántas veces no se han querido ver en algun reflejo mientras van caminando por la calle? y ¿Cuántas veces les ha dado pena comprar ropa? Mi respuesta a las preguntas anteriores es muy triste.

Nunca he sido una persona delgada, y estaba bien para mi porque me sentía feliz con mi cuerpo, hacía ejercicio y aunque no me alimentaba tan sanamente al menos lo intentaba pero ahora con tantas decepciones (que eventualmente contaré) es muy difícil tener un poco de autoestima, así es, estoy por los suelos pero eso debe ser una razón más para comenzar a sentirme bien.

Debo aceptar y estar consciente de que los cambios que yo quiera hacer con mi persona son, solo y estrictamente, para que yo me pueda sentir bien conmigo porque a fin de cuentas la dueña de éste cuerpo soy yo y la que vive mi vida pues soy yo y si yo no estoy bien conmigo, entonces no sé como espero estar bien con las personas que me rodean, bueno, con una persona en específico.

Sin más que decir declaro el día de hoy como el primer día de cambio, es desde hoy hasta dentro de exactamente 30 días, es decir, el 26 de Junio y dependiendo de los resultados seguiré igual o comenzaré un cambio más difícil.

Blue

These past days have been really hard for me. I've been feeling really bad and I don't know if it happened because I had a long weekend at home, I doubt it though. I stayed at home part of Monday and I went to school at 2:00 pm, wasn't feeling like attending calculus class. In the morning I was kinda sore, my legs were sore and I felt too sleepy, I drank water and I had breakfast and it didn't help

I just want to sleep all day, I don't want to think about anything anymore, I feel like I'm carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders and it's starting to get heavier. I wonder if I'd ever feel good, like really happy, I long for that to come.

How am I doing?

For this trimester I decided to take my classes in the morning, it was a bad idea at first but when I walked inside the library at such early morning (around 9:00am) after my first class I was so happy and surprised to see it so empty! It was just me and like other 2 or 3 people, it was so quiet!

Library, early in the morning!

One of the classes I'm taking is Calculus, I absolutely love it but sometimes it's kinda hard because I'm dyslexic so sometimes I don't understand quiet well what the teacher wants me to do, or it is just hard to get the idea. Fortunately I've found some ways to make everything more easy to comprehend. I don't use color coding because I easily forget about the coding, instead I just try to write everything, every single idea and I complete it with some graphics or sketches in separate index cards. I need to do this to fully understand (not only remember it, but it's important to know how it works). I'm giving my best, I need to get the best notes!

Calc. notebook :)

I love my binder ♥ and my pens ♥ and my notebook ♥ everything ♥

I'm not killing myself studying (now) but I'm doing my best to keep on track, I don't want to be the day before the exam crying and asking myself why I didn't study earlier. 

Another week starts in college, a hard one I guess (but I can't wait to Tuesday to get my 

방탄소년단(BTS) CD! So excited!) I have some homework due this week so wait for it! Yeah, just wait for it.

By the way, thank you for reading this, you're awesome and this world wouldn't be the same without you!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

M.C.A.T. (México City Adventure Time) N° 4

Random pictures taken at college (UAM)

Nice weather... such a shame that we never get this very often

Later that day...

Nothing better than a chalkboard... 

Spring is coming

Took this while I was laying on grass... listening music... you can get the picture... literally

Adios... for now.

Today was officialy my last day of school and I could not be more happy about it, although I have to go on Monday, but that's only for paperwork. This is the first time in a long time that I feel so good about college, I know I could've done better but isn't easy to deal with depression and have to attend school.

Can't wait to see the syllabus for the next trimester, and I tell you that I will nail it.

Should I make a list of objectives? Like a bucket list for the trimester... I'll think about it...

M.C.A.T. (Mexico City Adventure Tiime) N° 2

This pictures were taken at the Chapultepec forest... 

This is an open concert hall (if that makes any sense)

The fountain of Temperance

Taking a rest after a long walk

Wild beast devouring its prey

Keep walkin'

MCAT (Mexico City Adventure Time). N° 1

I just have one week before going back to school, so I went with a friend of mine to eat some typical Mexican food (what? Mexican food in México!? NO WAY!!) but after enjoy all that amazing and tasty dishes we decided to go around, so we took a bus and we went to drink some ice tea ^_^. It was really a good time, he's the exboyfriend of an exfriend of mine, we had to talk about her because she was kinda a big disappointment, I'll tell that story later.

It was a fun day indeed... we tried and tried to take a good picture and always failed, until my friend nailed it!! This is pretty much what happened: 

Ah... good times!

My Mexpost experience and the time when I got a postcard from South Korea

Before my birthday on October, a friend bought me a shirt, an N7 shirt... it supposed to be a birthday present but I got it until November, arghhhh! MEXPOST! D=<

Last year I sent a postcard to an oppa... I guess it was around the first week of November, so when I get to the post office they just took the envelope and based on the weight they gave me stamps, the total cost of the stamps was equivalent to the tariff... and that was it! My postcard arrived like 5 weeks after. The real fun was when oppa tried to respond me, he sent me this:

sorry for all the censorship!, but it's important for me to keep my identity as unknown

Some pictures of Seoul taken by oppa.

This supposed to get to my hands for Christmas... but I got it after Valentine's day! Thank you so much Mexpost!! 

Today I went to the Mexpost headquarters, actually I don't know if those are the headquarters but it's the largest Mexpost office I know, I went to deliver some postcards for a friend in Maryland, U.S.... they say it'll take around 3 weeks to get there... let's see if they can get in on time ¬¬ (I doubt it!)

I actually think it's a great experience to send that kind of stuff around the world and more when you get them! Please, send me a postcard *puppy eyes*... if you want a postcard from México, let me know ^^ heh.

Baah!

It's over... I'm dying of boredom!
Just recorded my dog jumping... that's it! I'm screwed lol

Purpose.

There are days when I'm sure that I will end up alone, only with my thoughts... Should I feel sad about it? 

There are days when I don't see the point on wake up and get things done, because I'm sure I will end up alone, only with my thoughts.

There are days when I think, and I think so much that I stop feeling

There are days when I can't wait for the night so I can stargaze, because I know nobody cares about it so nobody will disturb me and I can be alone, only my thoughts, the stars and me.

There are days when I feel more than happy because I know my life, this life, has no purpose, and I feel free... as free as the dust in the solar wind

Trimester is over~!

Yes! Yes! It is over! So now I have "one month" free... I say "one month" because I have to get ready for a very important test. A year ago, when my mom died, I was this close to give up on school so I just stopped going, but then I realized school, college, was the only thing I had, and I knew my mom would've been disappointed if I just quit so I kept going, unfortunately I couldn't pass all  my classes, now I have just one left to pass! I know I can do eeet!

I'm not even bothered because of the test, I honestly have a bad time when I'm off duty (lel) because I get bored, very bored, and I can't go out at this time of the year. How would you call a person that gets headache for being under the sun during short periods of time? :( that's what happens to me very often, so I prefer to stay at home... which is bad, and not so bad, because you know... I get bored but without headache (ay no).

I'll get an umbrella to go around México City =/

Yesterday while I was dying of boredom at my house I record some footage and made a little timelapse... 

Arguing... arguing everyday!

After my excitement of incoming weekend the only thing I made was have an awful weekend but oh well... I spent the whole weekend home alone :( just because I'm to proudy.

Finally I could upload the Kpop party footage video... I did some editing so it's not raw properly but still.

Here it is:

I hope y'all like it :)
I guess next party will be on the 28 or 29 this month (March)

One more push...

It's almost Friday! Yehet!! Today was a very important day to me because I did a presentation about oprical fiber, I hate to do presentations, I really hate it. I feel uncomfortable, judge by people, shy, nervous when I do any kind of presentation or speech, fortunately or unfortunately I had a partner, we did well... I guess.

In other news this weekend I'm going somewhere outside the city and I have no expectations on this trip, wish I could stay home and play some Mass Effec but oh well, life isn't perfect. I think I'll take this chance to try a time lapse... a sunset time lapse (wish me luck)... now that I talk about videos I'm currently uploading some footage I took at a K-Pop party last year, only 500 more minutes to go... almost.

Hope everybody have a nice weekend, except me because I'll be away from home.

Randomish No. 1

I've been thinking about raw footage and how make a cool video with that material... I watched Lana del Rey's video "Video Games" and somewhere in time I saw her during an interview, can't remember where, she said that she used to record lots  of stuff and that much of the vids using in the video of "Video Games" were recorded by her, which is cool, I like the song although isn't my fave. Would it be better to just put all the vids in one single video? with normal speed and basically no editing? Or would it be cooler to edit them and put a nice track? Also with time lapse... so much questioning about such stuff. 

On the other hand I got an instant camera! WOHOO!! I got the Instax Mini 8, white color and I'm so so so so so in love with it!! Can't wait to take lots of selcas YEHET! 

Awww sad but true that's all the big news I have lol. 

Back in town

I've said so many times that "this time I'm going to keep on with my blog" so I hope this is it. I don't think I have so much to say about me... just one thing: I'm a big of an introvert and I'm proud! I promise I'll try to update this blog as much as I can although my life is not that interesting to be honest, I hope y'all get to know me :)