Aún sigo pensando que poner como título “Bitácora del capitán, día ##” es una buena idea aunque cuando el año comience de nuevo, es decir, a partir del 1° de enero de 2016 comenzaré la numeración de nuevo, sólo para que sea más cool.
Ésta noche me siento muy contenta, no feliz, pero siento una tranquilidad y una energía muy positiva a mi alrededor. He tenido ya casi 3 años de lucha constante, 3 años en los que las cosas no han resultado como yo quiero y ahora sé y estoy segura de que todo eso era porque yo no estaba en la mejor condición. Durante todo éste tiempo tuve lapsos de depresión y algunas veces muy severa pero la verdad nunca he pensado en el suicidio, hablaré de eso en otra entrada. Siento que mi autoestima comienza a crecer y elevarse como un gas menos denso que el aire, realmente me siento bien.
También estoy contenta porque mi amiga K, que está esperando bebé, está muy bien y muy sana, muero de ganas de conocer a mi nueva sobrinita, porque va a ser niña, siempre lo supe.
Después contaré más de lo que me está pasando ahora pero parece que todo va bien, incluso si las cosas no salen como espero yo seguiré trabajando duro y echando todos los kilos *wink*
Me gustaría decir que tuve un buen fin de semana, aunque en general así fue, me pasó la desgracia de descomponer mi celular. Yo y mis manos de mantequilla, si, se me calló y en mi afán de rescatarlo mientras iba cayendo hice un movimiento que salió mal y terminó en mi celular estrellándose fuertemente sobre el piso (seco) del baño.
Todo esto sucedió mientras “vacacionaba” en un pueblito, tranquilo, sin WiFi y casi sin señal cual ninguna, en donde la TV transmite canales desconocidos para mi, lo cual me hizo sentir realmente lejos de casa a pesar de que los canales de TV abierta en la ciudad de México son un asco, la mayoría lo son.
Pues si, me fui desde el viernes, después de ir a una entrevista de trabajo en donde me dijeron que me iban a negrear 8 horas de lunes a viernes, en una horario de 14:00 a 22:00 horas, por un sueldo de $2,900 pesos, así las cosas en México, lo bueno en éste país todo está bien. Al final no acepté el trabajo porque debo ir a la universidad y además la zona para laborar está lejos, aproximadamente a una hora de mi lugar de residencia, ¡imagínense!
Y pues llegamos el viernes en la tarde/noche a comer como niños de hospicio, después de estar más de una hora en el tráfico para salir de la ciudad, no me quejo, la verdad es que una hora es algo bastante tolerable, hay gente que se la ha pasado más de 3 ó 4 horas en un embotellamiento. Después de comer no hice absolutamente nada, más que descansar, ponerme algo cómodo y vagar por la casita y sus alrededorcitos, ver las florecitas, observar a los perritos, cosas bonitas. Obvio mi Lucy estaba feliz, se pone muy feliz siempre que vamos a ésa casita y se la pasa oliendo todo, TODO, ¡TODO!, y haciendo cosas de perros con Camila, que vive en la casita de a lado pero siempre llega a visitarnos y a jugar con Lucy. Al día siguiente me desperté tarde y con demasiada hambre, después de los sagrados alimentos todos salieron de la casita por un tiempo que no recuerdo, me quedé armando un rompecabezas y perdí la noción del tiempo-espacio.
Después de un rato de estar solita y ya que el sol estaba en una posición idónea para poder resguardarme de sus rayos me dispuse a sacar una mesita, una sillita y mi PC, puse música y disfrute de lo que llaman “a summer breeze”, una rica y deliciosa brisa veraniega que eventualmente culminó en una tormenta eléctrica impresionante.
Y prácticamente así terminó el fin de semana y las minivacaciones porque el domingo temprano fue para preparar las maletas y revisar que todo estuviera para regresar. Temprano porque el Sr. Importante tenía ensayo con su banda a las 16:00 hr.
Hoy martes, después de almorzar voy a ir a ver si pueden reparar mi celular y cuando dinero va a costar eso. Aún estoy desempleada y no me puedo dar muchos lujos. Ojalá salga barato, o gratis.
Classes are over and I'm disappointed because I wanted to attend college in the morning and it didn't work for me for the secon time. It's time for me to stop trying to wake up early to go to school, it isn't for me, I'm happier at noon I guess.
This week has been good, I can't complain. School is good, life's good and that doesn't mean I don't get to have a good adventure.
I've tried to get along with a couple of classmates and it seems that I can't, I'm aware that I'm a difficult person to hang around with (that's why I prefer to be alone) but I thought, for a second, that we could be some kind of friends, I don't see it that way anymore. Maybe it's because I try to hard to get along with people, even though I know it doesn't work that way, maybe I can't understand (or I don't want to) new people, people I don't know well, maybe I feel uncomfortable with people wanting to know me better. In conclusion, I don't trust people.
I guess I'm overthinking it (I do it all the time).
In other news, I got lost! For the first time in my entire life! I wanted to walked from my school to the metro station so I can wait for the bus there but I walked and walked and walked. Supposedly it's a 15 min. walk but I walked like one hour straight and at the very end, when I was more clueless than ever, I realized I was walking by the back yard of my school.
I don't know how that happened, I just walked. Funny thing is that I had to take the bus where I take it everyday so yeah, it was for nothing but the adventure. Fun, fun.
These past days have been really hard for me. I've been feeling really bad and I don't know if it happened because I had a long weekend at home, I doubt it though. I stayed at home part of Monday and I went to school at 2:00 pm, wasn't feeling like attending calculus class. In the morning I was kinda sore, my legs were sore and I felt too sleepy, I drank water and I had breakfast and it didn't help
I just want to sleep all day, I don't want to think about anything anymore, I feel like I'm carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders and it's starting to get heavier. I wonder if I'd ever feel good, like really happy, I long for that to come.
I had a dream about, I will call him Baozi, he was with his group outside of the mall and they were performing. I was walking by when I saw them and of course I was excited. I stood in front of him and he took my hand, of course I blushed. After that fans and his group made a formal bow, and he grabbed my arm and we ran away from there, running through some kind of tunnels, I was scared because it was too dark but he was holding me, making me feel safe. After walking and walking we ended up in some kind of building with dress rooms and more people started to appear. Suddenly I saw a "friend" which is weird because I don't know her, never seen her, don't even know if she's real and I can't remember what's her name, I was very pleased with this dream
When everybody arrived I had to leave because I had to meet with my boyfriend but I didn't say that to Baozi, I just told him that I had to leave. Immediately he asked for my phone and he saved my number. He told me that he wanted to be with me and it was so cute, it was too weird that he said that they had to go to Japan but that he'd call me and we were going to meet as soon as he were back and of course I said yes and when I was walking to see my boyfriend and break up with him he woke me up TwT.
Today was officialy my last day of school and I could not be more happy about it, although I have to go on Monday, but that's only for paperwork. This is the first time in a long time that I feel so good about college, I know I could've done better but isn't easy to deal with depression and have to attend school.
Can't wait to see the syllabus for the next trimester, and I tell you that I will nail it.
Should I make a list of objectives? Like a bucket list for the trimester... I'll think about it...
I don't know why but I hate Sundays... because they're before Monday, and I hate Mondays as well. Today I should be at college but hey! guess what? I don't have any class today! Not sure if good or bad because that means Tuesday is the new Monday, good thing is that Sunday is a new Saturday and Saturday is Saturday... so Sunday is like Saturday.1 :D
I was thinking about going to McDonalds cause there's nothing to eat in here! TwT. Should I go and Vlog?
I just have one week before going back to school, so I went with a friend of mine to eat some typical Mexican food (what? Mexican food in México!? NO WAY!!) but after enjoy all that amazing and tasty dishes we decided to go around, so we took a bus and we went to drink some ice tea ^_^. It was really a good time, he's the exboyfriend of an exfriend of mine, we had to talk about her because she was kinda a big disappointment, I'll tell that story later.
It was a fun day indeed... we tried and tried to take a good picture and always failed, until my friend nailed it!! This is pretty much what happened:
Today I went to my college, I needed to return a couple of books, after that, walking to the exit I saw one of my volleyball mates, and she was there alone smoking, so I decided to go with her and say just "Hi", because I hate to be rude, when I get closer to her I saw she was about to cry, my instant thought was: "Crap! I shouldn't have to went this way!". I said hi and then I HAD! to ask "you ok?"... worst question ever, after that I spent like 2 hours listening to this girl's problems with her boyfriend, wasn't that bad until she asked me for advice, I wanted to tell her that she should go home and read a good book, the only thing I could think of was that I was emotionally handicapped (because usually I don't care about people, not even significant others... what for me is insignificant other *sad face*) and she laughed D:
I feel tired of that conversation, I just wanted to came home!
It's hard to be an introvert in a world of extroverted people...
Yes! Yes! It is over! So now I have "one month" free... I say "one month" because I have to get ready for a very important test. A year ago, when my mom died, I was this close to give up on school so I just stopped going, but then I realized school, college, was the only thing I had, and I knew my mom would've been disappointed if I just quit so I kept going, unfortunately I couldn't pass all my classes, now I have just one left to pass! I know I can do eeet!
I'm not even bothered because of the test, I honestly have a bad time when I'm off duty (lel) because I get bored, very bored, and I can't go out at this time of the year. How would you call a person that gets headache for being under the sun during short periods of time? :( that's what happens to me very often, so I prefer to stay at home... which is bad, and not so bad, because you know... I get bored but without headache (ay no).
I'll get an umbrella to go around México City =/
Yesterday while I was dying of boredom at my house I record some footage and made a little timelapse...
After my excitement of incoming weekend the only thing I made was have an awful weekend but oh well... I spent the whole weekend home alone :( just because I'm to proudy.
Finally I could upload the Kpop party footage video... I did some editing so it's not raw properly but still.
Here it is:
I hope y'all like it :)
I guess next party will be on the 28 or 29 this month (March)
It's almost Friday! Yehet!! Today was a very important day to me because I did a presentation about oprical fiber, I hate to do presentations, I really hate it. I feel uncomfortable, judge by people, shy, nervous when I do any kind of presentation or speech, fortunately or unfortunately I had a partner, we did well... I guess.
In other news this weekend I'm going somewhere outside the city and I have no expectations on this trip, wish I could stay home and play some Mass Effec but oh well, life isn't perfect. I think I'll take this chance to try a time lapse... a sunset time lapse (wish me luck)... now that I talk about videos I'm currently uploading some footage I took at a K-Pop party last year, only 500 more minutes to go... almost.
Hope everybody have a nice weekend, except me because I'll be away from home.
I've been thinking about raw footage and how make a cool video with that material... I watched Lana del Rey's video "Video Games" and somewhere in time I saw her during an interview, can't remember where, she said that she used to record lots of stuff and that much of the vids using in the video of "Video Games" were recorded by her, which is cool, I like the song although isn't my fave. Would it be better to just put all the vids in one single video? with normal speed and basically no editing? Or would it be cooler to edit them and put a nice track? Also with time lapse... so much questioning about such stuff. On the other hand I got an instant camera! WOHOO!! I got the Instax Mini 8, white color and I'm so so so so so in love with it!! Can't wait to take lots of selcas YEHET! Awww sad but true that's all the big news I have lol.
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