Trabajando

He tenido una semana de locos y hoy no podía faltar la cereza del pastel, un jueves lleno de enojo, frustración y peleas, y adivinen con quién, si, así es, con el Sr. Negatividad.

Toda ésta semana me he dedicado a asistir a un curso de capacitación para poder ingresar a mi nuevo trabajo, en una área administrativa de la empresa, me siento muy feliz y muy contenta de decir que ya tengo un trabajo, estoy satisfecha. Toda ésta felicidad no es de a gratis, ya que nunca falta quien ve todo por el lado negativo, ése es mi novio.

No puedo decir que es negativo 100% de las veces pero cuando se trata de algún esfuerzo, de levantarse temprano, de caminar, de salir o cualquier cosa relacionada con esforzarse yo sé, por experiencia, que va a decir algo como “hay no, mejor mañana” o algo como “… y que tal si lo dejamos para después?”, no creo que esa sea una buena actitud.

Esto no es una apología ni una excusa, mucho menos una justificación pero ya saben como es uno como mujer, más con las hormonas, porque si pasa y si pasa por las hormonas, a veces somos muy emocionales o viscerales como le llaman algunas personas y yo soy muy de esa forma. Hoy me enojé mucho con él y sé que aunque está mal que me moleste, repito que no es justificación, todo eso es porque he estado acumulando el coraje y la frustración de todos esos días que ya me contagió con su negatividad.

Hubieran visto su cara cuando le conté del trabajo, me desanimó, afortunadamente no soy una de las personas que lo bota todo sólo porque le hace falta algo de ánimo o autoestima, yo tomé una decisión y lo logré. Después discutimos por unos boletos de Big Bang, yo estaba proponiendo como podríamos comprar los dos boletos y ya se imaginaran su expresión facial.

En éste momento estoy realmente molesta con él, siento que no quiero verlo, no quiero ni estar en la misma habitación en donde él está, estoy muy cansada por la semana tan ajetreada, sólo quiero descansar.

Bitácora del capitán, día algo...

Aún sigo pensando que poner como título “Bitácora del capitán, día ##” es una buena idea aunque cuando el año comience de nuevo, es decir, a partir del 1° de enero de 2016 comenzaré la numeración de nuevo, sólo para que sea más cool.

Ésta noche me siento muy contenta, no feliz, pero siento una tranquilidad y una energía muy positiva a mi alrededor. He tenido ya casi 3 años de lucha constante, 3 años en los que las cosas no han resultado como yo quiero y ahora sé y estoy segura de que todo eso era porque yo no estaba en la mejor condición. Durante todo éste tiempo tuve lapsos de depresión y algunas veces muy severa pero la verdad nunca he pensado en el suicidio, hablaré de eso en otra entrada. Siento que mi autoestima comienza a crecer y elevarse como un gas menos denso que el aire, realmente me siento bien.

También estoy contenta porque mi amiga K, que está esperando bebé, está muy bien y muy sana, muero de ganas de conocer a mi nueva sobrinita, porque va a ser niña, siempre lo supe.

Después contaré más de lo que me está pasando ahora pero parece que todo va bien, incluso si las cosas no salen como espero yo seguiré trabajando duro y echando todos los kilos *wink*

Bitácora del capitan, día 20150808

Me gustaría decir que tuve un buen fin de semana, aunque en general así fue, me pasó la desgracia de descomponer mi celular. Yo y mis manos de mantequilla, si, se me calló y en mi afán de rescatarlo mientras iba cayendo hice un movimiento que salió mal y terminó en mi celular estrellándose fuertemente sobre el piso (seco) del baño.

Todo esto sucedió mientras “vacacionaba” en un pueblito, tranquilo, sin WiFi y casi sin señal cual ninguna, en donde la TV transmite canales desconocidos para mi, lo cual me hizo sentir realmente lejos de casa a pesar de que los canales de TV abierta en la ciudad de México son un asco, la mayoría lo son.

Pues si, me fui desde el viernes, después de ir a una entrevista de trabajo en donde me dijeron que me iban a negrear 8 horas de lunes a viernes, en una horario de 14:00 a 22:00 horas, por un sueldo de $2,900 pesos, así las cosas en México, lo bueno en éste país todo está bien. Al final no acepté el trabajo porque debo ir a la universidad y además la zona para laborar está lejos, aproximadamente a una hora de mi lugar de residencia, ¡imagínense!

Y pues llegamos el viernes en la tarde/noche a comer como niños de hospicio, después de estar más de una hora en el tráfico para salir de la ciudad, no me quejo, la verdad es que una hora es algo bastante tolerable, hay gente que se la ha pasado más de 3 ó 4 horas en un embotellamiento. Después de comer no hice absolutamente nada, más que descansar, ponerme algo cómodo y vagar por la casita y sus alrededorcitos, ver las florecitas, observar a los perritos, cosas bonitas. Obvio mi Lucy estaba feliz, se pone muy feliz siempre que vamos a ésa casita y se la pasa oliendo todo, TODO, ¡TODO!, y haciendo cosas de perros con Camila, que vive en la casita de a lado pero siempre llega a visitarnos y a jugar con Lucy. Al día siguiente me desperté tarde y con demasiada hambre, después de los sagrados alimentos todos salieron de la casita por un tiempo que no recuerdo, me quedé armando un rompecabezas y perdí la noción del tiempo-espacio.

Después de un rato de estar solita y ya que el sol estaba en una posición idónea para poder resguardarme de sus rayos me dispuse a sacar una mesita, una sillita y mi PC, puse música y disfrute de lo que llaman “a summer breeze”, una rica y deliciosa brisa veraniega que eventualmente culminó en una tormenta eléctrica impresionante.

Y prácticamente así terminó el fin de semana y las minivacaciones porque el domingo temprano fue para preparar las maletas y revisar que todo estuviera para regresar. Temprano porque el Sr. Importante tenía ensayo con su banda a las 16:00 hr.

Hoy martes, después de almorzar voy a ir a ver si pueden reparar mi celular y cuando dinero va a costar eso. Aún estoy desempleada y no me puedo dar muchos lujos. Ojalá salga barato, o gratis.

Suerte a todos y q

The Red Bullet Episode II in Mexico | An ARMY experience

I tried to make an entrance just like the page were I wrote almost everything about the BTS concert in Mexico, unfortunately it doesn't look good so click in the image to read my full experience :)

Click here!!!!

Random questions post

So I just found this list of questions and I thought it'd be fun since classes are over and I still have an exam tomorrow but oh well. Leggoh!!

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

1. History - B2ST
2. 부르즈 할리파 (Feat. 얀키, 개코) - Epik High
3. GO - JK Tiger, Yoon Mi Rae, Bizzy
4. 시간을 가르는 우리 - 김지수 (Kim Ji Soo)
5. 봄봄봄 - 로이킴 (Roy Kim)

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I'd meet Dr. Michio Kaku because he's a great inspiration for me.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Put in order his work, write his life and restore his memories.

4) What do you think about most? I think about the future and I think about the past a lot, sometimes about the present (I probablu should think more about the present and live it instead of being thinking about past and future)

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? I've never had actually :(

6) Do you have any strange phobias? Totally, I have both globophobia and coulrophobia

7) What's your religion? None, I'm an atheist :)

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Reading or listening to music (or both)

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? My fave band ever is Children of Bodom

10) What was the last lie you told? I said that I was fine

11) Do you believe in karma? I believe and I know that for every action there's a reaction, same magnitude but opposite direction ;)

12) What does your URL mean? It means that I was born in 1989 :P

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is that I'm extremely senstive and my greatest strenght is that I'm strong overall, I can take anything, seriously.

14) Who is your celebrity crush? Tom Hardy ♥

15) How do you vent your anger? I used to play volleyball but since I stopped and tend to cover my face with a pillow and scream or sometimes I run.

16) Do you have a collection of anything? I have a collection of video game magazines.

17) Are you happy with the person you've become? I am atlthough I'm not happy with some decision I've made

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? Sound I hate, a balloon poping; sounds I love, the rain.

19) What's your biggest "what if"? Quiting my job, what if I didn't quit my job?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I don't believe in ghosts and I don't think we're all alone in the entire universe, I don't believe in aliens though, just don't know if they actually exist.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Right arm, I reached my pills (I have gastritis); left hand, my journal :)

22) Smell the air. What do you smell? Chicken... 

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? Boyfriend's band had to play at this extremely awful bar and eww, I didn't touch anything. A friend went to the bathroom and she said it was all dark and it didn't have any kind of door D:

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? Jimin, Yesung, Roy Khan!

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? To me the meaning of live is to live. To me it's all about enjoying and stop struggling with all kinds of feelings, it's about getting disappointed, about being loved and love, about living everyday like you're not going to wake up the next day.

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I don't drive, yet!

27) What was the last movie you saw? Some Voices, good movie!

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? One time I almost dislocate my left arm, left shoulder.

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? Not now.

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? No that I've kown

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Absolutely!

32) What is your astrological sign? Libra :)

33) What's the last thing you purchased? Water for me and a friend at college :)

34) Love or lust? Love love love ♥

35) In a relationship? Aye aye :D

36) How many relationships have you had? I've had 3 relationships

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Being me :P

38) Where is your best friend? Probably at home playing video games.

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Playing Plague Inc.
40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes, yes I am! I would date me as well :P

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I save the dog! I could get another job but that dog can't have another life.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I'd tell my family and I think I wouldn't do much other than help my family to pass through that difficult process, I wouldn't be afraid at all.

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Fun boys!!

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Communication and an open mind plus love and patience.

45) How can I win your heart? With time

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Probably, I'm kinda insane but I'm not creative al all :P

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Adopt my doggie.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? "I'll be back"

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." Blood being pumped

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? Blue, all shades.

51) What is your current desktop picture? It is the Andromeda galaxy or M31 

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Laboratory teacher!!!

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Will I fail in college?

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Telekinisis!

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? I'd like to go back when I had the most awful fight with my mom, I'd like to tell her that I didn't mean a word I said, that I love her and most importat, that she should go to the doctor :(

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I have one but I'd rather keep that one for me

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Rap Monster of BTS hahaha!

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? South Korea!

59) Ever been on a plane? No and I don't think I want to

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. 

In no particular order, except for number 1 :P

1. Tom Hardy ♥

2. Christian Bale

3. Luke Evans

4. Charlie Hunnam

5. James McAvoy 

Blue

Classes are over and I'm disappointed because I wanted to attend college in the morning and it didn't work for me for the secon time. It's time for me to stop trying to wake up early to go to school, it isn't for me, I'm happier at noon I guess.

Quick update

Sorry, I've been so busy dealing with college but part of the "A.R.M.Y. expeience" is coming soon

The Red Bullet Episode II

So I finally got my ticket to see BTS (방탄소년단) and I'm working on a special "project" because I want you to see it through my eyes, probably not the concert itself, but my experience, the experience of a mexican A.R.M.Y. I'll try to update often :D

I'm a happy mexican A.R.M.Y.! Stay tuned!

Lost and found

This week has been good, I can't complain. School is good, life's good and that doesn't mean I don't get to have a good adventure.

I've tried to get along with a couple of classmates and it seems that I can't, I'm aware that I'm a difficult person to hang around with (that's why I prefer to be alone) but I thought, for a second, that we could be some kind of friends, I don't see it that way anymore. Maybe it's because I try to hard to get along with people, even though I know it doesn't work that way, maybe I can't understand (or I don't want to) new people, people I don't know well, maybe I feel uncomfortable with people wanting to know me better. In conclusion, I don't trust people.

I guess I'm overthinking it (I do it all the time).

In other news, I got lost! For the first time in my entire life! I wanted to walked from my school to the metro station so I can wait for the bus there but I walked and walked and walked. Supposedly it's a 15 min. walk but I walked like one hour straight and at the very end, when I was more clueless than ever, I realized I was walking by the back yard of my school.

I don't know how that happened, I just walked. Funny thing is that I had to take the bus where I take it everyday so yeah, it was for nothing but the adventure. Fun, fun.

Why don't you love me back?

Sometimes love isn't enough, is it?

Loveless from dbnsd on 8tracks Radio.

Day 4/10 study challenge

Day 4.- Make 10 flashcards for a subject of your choice

I know I'm awful, I just made 5 flashcards and I took bad pictures. I'm awful, I know!

Day 3/10 study challenge

Day 3.- Teach us a concept you've learnt this month that you found boring, but do it in a creative way. Songs, drawings, dance, whatever.

There's no way I can teach this concept in a creative way because I just hate it. The Gauss-Jordan/Gaussian elimination in Linear Algebra.

In linear algebra, Gaussian elimination (also known as row reduction) is an algorithm for solving systems of linear equations. It is usually understood as a sequence of operations performed on the associated matrix of coefficients. This method can also be used to find the rank of a matrix, to calculate the determinant of a matrix, and to calculate the inverse of an invertible square matrix. 

This method is named after Carl Friedrich Gauss but we never know, it was known to Chinese mathematicians as early as 179 CE

Thanks a lot

Day 2/10 study challenge

Day 2.- Teach us a concept you've learned this month that you find interesting

I’ve been working with least squares since last trimester in the laboratory and I find it extremely interesting

The method of least squares is a standard approach in regression analysis to the approximate solution of overdetermined systems, i.e., sets of equations in which there are more equations than unknowns. “Least squares” means that the overall solution minimizes the sum of the squares of the errors made in the results of every single equation.

The most important application is in data fitting. The best fit in the least-squares sense minimizes the sum of squared residuals, a residual being the difference between an observed value and the fitted value provided by a model. When the problem has substantial uncertainties in the independent variable (the x variable), then simple regression and least squares methods have problems; in such cases, the methodology required for fitting errors-in-variables models may be considered instead of that for least squares.

Day 1/10 study challenge

Day 1.- Clean up and photograph your study space to share with us.

This is my study space (most of the time) and I think I’d change it if I could, since I live in a building I don’t really have a nice view by the window which is good and bad at the same time (good because I don’t get distracted by the environment, bad because the view really sucks).

I usually clean my desk one or two time at month, I know I should do it more often, I'm trying, since I use this desk a lot it's always messy.

Clean desk

I keep my stationery in my bookshelf so when I'm on my desk I need to bring everything. Fun story is that I have another desk, much prettier because it's made of glass and I love it, but I don't use it because there isn't enough space in my room for it.

Laboratory notes

I know I have a problem when it comes to stationery (I don't know if anyone actually cares but if you do then I'll do a post about it) and I have a good amount of supplies, I want more though

Mess

Stationary

Steadtler fineliners ♥

10 day study challenge

As you may (or may not) know I'm attending college. I need to inspire myself in order to keep studying so I decided to make a easy and quick study challenge, it isn't too long, just 10 days and I'll be starting tomorrow and this will go on until june 15th.

I hope you find it interesting and it'd be nice if you try it, doesn't matter if you're not in college nor studying :)

Updating & stuff

I failed calculus! Noooooooooooooo!!!!

In other news I'm in the fifth week of the trimester (5 out of 12) so I think I can prepare myself and I think I can pass the next two exams. 

I think I've been feeling better and that's thanks to music and thanks to my dog. I'll write soon! :)

Días raros

Parece que todo lo que he planeado hacer o he querido hacer simplemente no está dando resultado. El tratar de ser mejor a veces no es suficiente, hay veces que tienes que hacerlo y ya, sin pensarlo, como si fuera un reflejo del cuerpo y de la mente.

No he estado tan bien en la escuela, llevo pocas materias y sé que por eso me desanimo, no creo que sea muy motivante cursar 27 de 43 créditos. 

Por otro lado yo sé que debería de aprovechar mejor mi tiempo y por más que lo intento (por mi cuenta) nada más no lo logro así que desde ahora he decidido a ponerme en orden con una buena rutina. Dicen que para que una activvidad se haga un hábito es necesario llevarla a cabo 21 días sin descanso alguno. Así que de ahora en adelante me comprometo a ejercitarme todos los días durante mínimo 30 minutos, además de beber mínimo 2lt de agua, también todos los días, y no beber bajo ninguna circunstancia ningún tipo de refresco ni ningún tipo de jugo o bebida embotellada.

Sé que debo seguir aunque no vea los resultados tan rápidamente, a fin de cuentas, lo único que quiero es sentirme bien porque ¿Cuántas veces se han visto al espejo y se han sentido mal con el reflejo?, ¿Cuántas veces no se han querido ver en algun reflejo mientras van caminando por la calle? y ¿Cuántas veces les ha dado pena comprar ropa? Mi respuesta a las preguntas anteriores es muy triste.

Nunca he sido una persona delgada, y estaba bien para mi porque me sentía feliz con mi cuerpo, hacía ejercicio y aunque no me alimentaba tan sanamente al menos lo intentaba pero ahora con tantas decepciones (que eventualmente contaré) es muy difícil tener un poco de autoestima, así es, estoy por los suelos pero eso debe ser una razón más para comenzar a sentirme bien.

Debo aceptar y estar consciente de que los cambios que yo quiera hacer con mi persona son, solo y estrictamente, para que yo me pueda sentir bien conmigo porque a fin de cuentas la dueña de éste cuerpo soy yo y la que vive mi vida pues soy yo y si yo no estoy bien conmigo, entonces no sé como espero estar bien con las personas que me rodean, bueno, con una persona en específico.

Sin más que decir declaro el día de hoy como el primer día de cambio, es desde hoy hasta dentro de exactamente 30 días, es decir, el 26 de Junio y dependiendo de los resultados seguiré igual o comenzaré un cambio más difícil.

Sandal - Hello World Tour in México

Scandal yei! Un concierto que esperé desde que se anunció y que finalmente sucedió el día de ayer.

Afortunadamente pude comprar boletos con "Meet & Greet", la hora de entreda al recinto fué aproximadamente a las 5:00 p.m así que llegamos a las 3:30, hora en la cual ya había demasiada gente haciendo fila.

Alrededor de las 4:30 las primeras personas en la fila de "Meet & Greet" comenzaron a entrar, el proceso es un poco lento porque deben revisarte completamente, nosotros entramos al recinto alrededor de las 5:00 pm y por supuesto, tuvimos que formarnos de nuevo para después ingresar a la parte posterior en donde se encuentra el escenario en donde, si, tuvimos que formarnos de nuevo, ésta última fila era para ingresar al área en dónde las chicas de Scandal se encontraban, entonces nosotros desconocíamos lo que estaban haciendo (fotos, autógrafos, etc.). 

Después de hacer fila por un rato más el momento finalmente llegó, era hora de conocer a Scandal. Me sentía muy nerviosa, en el momento de subir las escaleras y verlas ahí, de pie, como muñecas fue lo máximo para mi y para todos los que nos encontrábamos frente a ellas.

El "meet & greet" no duró mucho, después de finalizar hubo una pequeña sesión de preguntas y respuestas en la cual las integrantes de Scandal respondieron a 4 preguntas. 

Poco después de las 8:00 p.m el concierto comenzó con Love Action! Desgraciadamente no pude encontrar el setlist y no recuerdo el orden de las canciones y es posible que olvide alguna, por lo cual lo publicaré después o actualizaré ésta entrada. A pesar de que tocaron menos de lo que yo esperaba, tuve la oportunidad de escuchar una de mis canciones favoritas (Kagerou). 

Espero que Scandal regresé a México y si no es así, quisiera tener oportunidad de volver a verlas en concierto porque es algo que realmente vale la pena.

Blue

These past days have been really hard for me. I've been feeling really bad and I don't know if it happened because I had a long weekend at home, I doubt it though. I stayed at home part of Monday and I went to school at 2:00 pm, wasn't feeling like attending calculus class. In the morning I was kinda sore, my legs were sore and I felt too sleepy, I drank water and I had breakfast and it didn't help

I just want to sleep all day, I don't want to think about anything anymore, I feel like I'm carrying a heavy burden on my shoulders and it's starting to get heavier. I wonder if I'd ever feel good, like really happy, I long for that to come.

Dreaming

I had a dream about, I will call him Baozi, he was with his group outside of the mall and they were performing. I was walking by when I saw them and of course I was excited. I stood in front of him and he took my hand, of course I blushed. After that fans and his group made a formal bow, and he grabbed my arm and we ran away from there, running through some kind of tunnels, I was scared because it was too dark but he was holding me, making me feel safe. After walking and walking we ended up in some kind of building with dress rooms and more people started to appear. Suddenly I saw a "friend"  which is weird because I don't know her, never seen her, don't even know if she's real and I can't remember what's her name, I was very pleased with this dream

When everybody arrived I had to leave because I had to meet with my boyfriend but I didn't say that to Baozi, I just told him that I had to leave. Immediately he asked for my phone and he saved my number. He told me that he wanted to be with me and it was so cute, it was too weird that he said that they had to go to Japan but that he'd call me and we were going to meet as soon as he were back and of course I said yes and when I was walking to see my boyfriend and break up with him he woke me up TwT.

How am I doing?

For this trimester I decided to take my classes in the morning, it was a bad idea at first but when I walked inside the library at such early morning (around 9:00am) after my first class I was so happy and surprised to see it so empty! It was just me and like other 2 or 3 people, it was so quiet!

Library, early in the morning!

One of the classes I'm taking is Calculus, I absolutely love it but sometimes it's kinda hard because I'm dyslexic so sometimes I don't understand quiet well what the teacher wants me to do, or it is just hard to get the idea. Fortunately I've found some ways to make everything more easy to comprehend. I don't use color coding because I easily forget about the coding, instead I just try to write everything, every single idea and I complete it with some graphics or sketches in separate index cards. I need to do this to fully understand (not only remember it, but it's important to know how it works). I'm giving my best, I need to get the best notes!

Calc. notebook :)

I love my binder ♥ and my pens ♥ and my notebook ♥ everything ♥

I'm not killing myself studying (now) but I'm doing my best to keep on track, I don't want to be the day before the exam crying and asking myself why I didn't study earlier. 

Another week starts in college, a hard one I guess (but I can't wait to Tuesday to get my 

방탄소년단(BTS) CD! So excited!) I have some homework due this week so wait for it! Yeah, just wait for it.

By the way, thank you for reading this, you're awesome and this world wouldn't be the same without you!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!